It might not make me popular in the dating scene, but I will say it: the whole idea of weddings is ridiculous to me. I will never, ever, ever have a wedding. Now, bear with me - I am no Grinch and this is no “love is the pitfall of the weak” sentiment here. I love love. Love is great. Makes people happy and fulfilled and whatnot. I also realize that “love and lifetime commitment” does not have to be synonymous with “wedding” though.

It’s only that every time I go to a wedding - all of which are essentially the same with the only variables being the people involved - I can only sit and think how silly and wasteful it all is. The adherence to the same old ridiculous traditions which plague every wedding and reception, the absurd amount of money spent on dresses, tuxedos, decorations, silly metal rings, venues, crummy food, out-of-touch DJs playing Kool & the Gang and the Chicken Dance, and servers who tack an extra 18% onto the bill. Not to mention how inane the same ceremony, dances, and speeches (which are always either terribly unfunny or overly sentimental and often go on for far too long) are.

Just like funerals, weddings are needless money pits perpetuated by businesses who stress their importance and make a fortune off of them. If I so choose to even ever be in such a social union, I hope that we will unceremoniously get the paperwork, throw a big old barbecue to celebrate where people can still bring us our toaster ovens and wine racks, then we will take all of that money we saved from not having a wedding and spend a month traveling without any sort of particular agenda. Maybe I am just strange.