Fortune and Glory

May 31

Ten Parting Pieces of Advice for Seniors

Today was my last day with the seniors, as they move on to spend the last few days of their high school careers practicing how to walk across a stage. I’m not really the sentimental type when it comes to my job, but I did feel the need to share some brief parting pieces of advice with my seniors, those things I wish someone had told me when I was their age, before they head off into their idea of the “real world” - be it to college, the workforce, the military, or elsewhere:

  1. Remember that credit cards are not free money.
  2. Write things down. Your crazy experiences. Your funny moments. Your heartache. Your anger. A disturbing conversation you overhead from the frat boys behind you in Anthropology 101. Your mind is a trap at 18 and you remember everything. That starts to go away pretty quick into your adulthood. So, write it down.
  3. Help. Is dad out there working in the garden this summer? Is mom changing your car’s oil for you? Is grandpa putting up a new deck? Pick up some pruners, the oil pan, or a hammer and go help them. Ask them questions about what they’re doing. See if they’ll let you help them with something that you had no interest in doing last summer. It’ll be awkward. You’ll feel weird because it’ll be the most you’ve talked to them in three years, but do it. You won’t regret it for a variety of reasons.
  4. Become fluent in another language. You’re almost there anyway after three years of Spanish. Okay, okay… maybe not. I know you swore it off after your last final, but keep up on it. Don’t keep putting off the Spanish elective in college until “next semester” or you’ll never do it. Suck it up and do it. Download a Rosetta Stone to your iPod. Turn on Univision and make a drinking game out of it to see who is the best interpreter (when you’re 21, of course). The future job-hunting you will thank you.
  5. Go places. Take every opportunity to travel that you can. Go on adventures. Stop at restaurants that aren’t Taco Bell. Eagerly offer to help your friend move out to Mobridge, South Dakota. Meet people. Eat weird foods. It’s okay if you gag. Take that study abroad, dang it, because those few extra thousand dollars are nothing compared to the experiences that you will have. Go out of your comfort zone, remembering that no one in these places you explore will ever see you again and it’s okay to embarrass yourselves. 
  6. Use condoms. Please.
  7. Read one book each month. I know, you laugh. You’re graduating high school, why would you ever pick up a book again? Heck, you didn’t read most of them anyway. But it doesn’t have to be a big book. It can even have pictures and no one will yell at you. So, if you don’t have one, go get a library card and look around for a while. You’ll be surprised when they aren’t being assigned to you how many books will catch your eye - and the knowledge you’ll gain with each book you read is invaluable. Besides… reading is sexy.
  8. Embrace your mistakes. You are going to screw up. You’re going to do unbelievably stupid things. For most of you, like it was for me, this will happen often. Don’t shy away from these mistakes. Own up to them. Learn from them. Then move on from them.
  9. Remember, when your first big breakup comes, it won’t be the end of the world. It will feel like it. You’ll probably rip some of your hair out. Your friends will be sick of your crying. You’ll be disheveled, drinking expired milk out of the carton, and wondering how the world will ever go on. Just remember: it does. And you will too. Instead of moping around, get a gym membership. That metabolism just doesn’t work like it used to anyway. Better yet, go volunteer somewhere. Coach Special Olympics. Have some coffee at the senior home. Give tours to kids at the zoo. Not only will you feel better about yourself, you might even meet a cute dude or total babe. And cute dudes and total babes love people who volunteer. 
  10. Budget. Don’t be afraid to spend it, because you have to live a little, but be smart with your money. Remember: stopping at Starbucks before school or work will cost you $900 over the course of a year. Getting the cheap stuff at the convenience store will cost you $500 (even with those buy 8, get 1 free cards they give you). Brewing your own will cost you $150. Keep that lesson in mind for every aspect of where you’re allocating your hard-earned cash.

This is not a end-all list of advice that will lead young people to successful lives. Rather, it’s what I’ve learned along the way, a guy who was there not too long ago and wishes he knew then what he knows now.

May 29

Apologies for the braces rant. I have nothing to complain about considering how fortunate I am. Those words were the initial shock of finding out the costs associated with something that many families far less financially fortunate than I have to figure out how to pay for. That’s a tragedy. I’m just whining. Besides, I might be able to pull off the stubby-toothed look.

Where I complain about being an adult who needs braces.

I don’t make it a habit to complain, particularly about situations out of my control (and moreso money… most find it tacky), but I’m feeling cranky after seeing some quotes. I don’t really understand why dental insurance doesn’t cover braces, particularly for adults. My dental plan covers 100% diagnostic, preventative, restorative, endodontics, periodontics, dentures, and oral surgery - but braces do not fall under any of these categories.

Which is really just awful.

I should be grateful for having any dental insurance. And I am. But I could easily pay out of my pocket the $40 needed every six months for my routine checkup, cleaning, and free toothbrush with my dentist’s name on it.

But for braces, I’ll have to pay out of my pocket $4,800 for the traditional or $6,500 for the lingual (which are secured behind the teeth instead of the front, which is ideal for an adult in the professional world).

That’s over 1/5th of my yearly after-taxes salary. One-fucking-fifth.

That’s a car. A down payment on a house, for chrissakes.

Here’s the rub. I’m not (and wouldn’t be) interested in braces for “cosmetic” reasons. My teeth have always been nice enough and even if they weren’t, it wouldn’t much bother me. I’m interested in braces because my longtime dentist said I more or less have to get them. Unless, of course, I want dentures when I’m older.

Notice the lisp in my latest video? I didn’t have that in high school. It’s developed because my teeth are shifting and, in combination with the alignment of my jaw, it’s causing my lower teeth to grind on my two front teeth. In simple terms, my dentist explained that those bastard bottom teeth of mine have been slowly grinding away at my front two teeth these past few years. While I may not notice it now (other than the developed lisp, which frankly, I’m much too old to give a damn about - and hell, Bogart pulled it off), over the course of the next 15-20 years, they could grind awayAway, I tell you! And when a dentist tells a person that their teeth are going to slowly grind away… one is inclined to listen to the alternatives.

So, here I am. I don’t mind having to get braces. The students will get a kick out of it (we’ll look alike!) and I’m not the type of person to be embarrassed by such things. I’m nearly 26 years old, having worked my ass off to get a job with insurance where such worries could be non-issues and now I’m either going to chalk up $5,000+ (adding to the pile of debt already accumulated from being a broke college kid) or be dubbed Mr. McStubbtooth by the time I hit 40. That’s a lot of money and I’m not sure how any family affords it. I’m fortunate enough to be single and childless, so I can make it work, but damn

If the whole situation weren’t so goddamned loony, I might be furious. I just wouldn’t know who to be furious at. 

[video]


To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.

Anthony Bourdain Joins CNN to Host New Weekend Program
Goodbye to No Reservations, but hello to what one can hope is just as great of a show, where Bourdain and his very talented behind-the-scenes crew still retain total creative control.
Hey, Travel Channel, if you’re looking for a replacement show, I have some great ideas - much, much better than your Hidden City or Ghost Adventures nonsense, I assure you. Call my people.

To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.

Anthony Bourdain Joins CNN to Host New Weekend Program

Goodbye to No Reservations, but hello to what one can hope is just as great of a show, where Bourdain and his very talented behind-the-scenes crew still retain total creative control.

Hey, Travel Channel, if you’re looking for a replacement show, I have some great ideas - much, much better than your Hidden City or Ghost Adventures nonsense, I assure you. Call my people.

May 28

(Source: explosm.net)

May 27

No work tomorrow. Nice.

No work tomorrow. Nice.

May 26

What a great, relaxing weekend so far.

What a great, relaxing weekend so far.

toomuchorange asked: Grilled bananas?

Cut the banana in fours as seen in the photo.

Mix equal parts cocoa powder and brown sugar with a half part cinnamon. Place the open end of banana into the mixture.

Then place the open end of the banana directly onto the grill for 3-5 minutes. Pull off and enjoy (with ice cream if you prefer). You won’t be disappointed.

Grilling some sausage and bananas tonight.

Grilling some sausage and bananas tonight.

Erie man stabbed during fight that involved 100 people -

Don’t worry, folks. It wasn’t me (although we were just down the street from Sugar Ray’s).

A 34-year-old Erie man was stabbed multiple times in the stomach during a fight outside of a city club that involved up to 100 people, police said.

Jonathan James, 34, was taken to UPMC Hamot at about 2 a.m., police said. No details on his condition were available, hospital officials said this morning.

No arrests have been made in the case, investigators said today.

Police were called to Sugar Ray’s, 1301 State St., at about 1:45 a.m., responding to a fight outside the club that involved between 75 and 100 people.

James and his girlfriend were involved in the fight, police said. The girlfriend, whom police did not name, was separated from James during the brawl and did not see who stabbed James, authorities said.

Police have not yet been able to interview James, police said.

May 25

Time to enjoy the Tap House on an unseasonably warm May evening.

Time to enjoy the Tap House on an unseasonably warm May evening.

Downtown Edinboro, PA. John’s Wildwood Pizza. Easily the best and freshest pizza in all of northwestern PA.

Downtown Edinboro, PA. John’s Wildwood Pizza. Easily the best and freshest pizza in all of northwestern PA.

Nothing makes one nostalgic like their childhood home. It’s been nearly fourteen years since I’ve been there. We moved when I was twelve. The hoop that I learned to play basketball on is still standing.

Nothing makes one nostalgic like their childhood home. It’s been nearly fourteen years since I’ve been there. We moved when I was twelve. The hoop that I learned to play basketball on is still standing.

Since I had the day off today and it’s beautiful outside, I decided to go for a drive. I made it all the way to the old dirt road I grew up on. I haven’t been out here in such a long time and memories are flooding back, passing neighboring homes (“neighbors” being a half mile away, of course), the woods that I knew so well, the familiar smells and sounds reminding me of those innocent years when the world was still so small.

Since I had the day off today and it’s beautiful outside, I decided to go for a drive. I made it all the way to the old dirt road I grew up on. I haven’t been out here in such a long time and memories are flooding back, passing neighboring homes (“neighbors” being a half mile away, of course), the woods that I knew so well, the familiar smells and sounds reminding me of those innocent years when the world was still so small.